Life at 25: A Series of (Un)Fortunate Events
December 15th, 2009
On the 13th of December my true love sent — rather, I turned 1/4-of-a-century old, a ‘Quarter Centurian’ according to j1m0ne. Might not be much, but it’s still zOMG 25 freaking years living on Planet Earth! Just another 25 years and I’ll be an obaasan! (or a MILF, we’ll see) Hello quarter-life crisis?
Birthday, by itself, isn’t anything special. Bluntly and unpoetically speaking, it’s just ‘the day you got expelled from the birth canal’, in Leonard of Big Bang Theory’s words. But year after year we celebrate it. What’s the deal? Is it because our parents are soooo happy to have given birth to us? Is it because we are soooo awesome, and that our very existence is enough of a reason to celebrate? Whatever the reason might be, growing old has certainly changed my perspective on birthday. More than just the ‘time I get a birthday cake and gifts from my parents, aunts and uncles’, it has now become my Annual Life Checkpoint.
Each year, we grow older; ideally, not simply age-wise but holistically. One year would’ve passed since our last birthday (with the exception of Feb29 people), and what exactly happened since then? Did anything exciting happen? Did we get to achieve our dreams, short-term and/or long-term goals? Did we make someone happy? Did we grow in wisdom?
Have you ever taken some time off, just to look back at life, count your blessings, see that Awesome Power at work (I consider it His fingerprints, but that would differ depending on our beliefs) through the circumstances that happen in your life, discover the gem that lies in the sh*ttiness of circumstances? Looking back allows you to see things from a different perspective, and in the end make you realize, that indeed, everything happens for a purpose. Let’s do a ‘What Ifs’ / ‘A Series of (Un)Fortunate Events Looking Back’ exercise, shall we?
Had I not entered the company I’m working in up until present, then I wouldn’t have met Seleria. If I hadn’t met Seleria, then I wouldn’t have gotten into blogging at Scrumptious. If I hadn’t gotten into blogging, then I wouldn’t have met all these wonderful bloggers and readers and become part of this awesome community. I also wouldn’t have realized that I can actually write, and be read!
But then somewhere along the way I lost contact with Seleria, and if I hadn’t drifted apart from her, then perhaps I wouldn’t have gotten close to this one guy. Had I not gotten close to that guy, then I wouldn’t have experienced how it was like to have a really close male friend who I can even call my ‘best friend’. But, as they say, there’s no such thing as a platonic friendship between a guy and a girl.
Had I not burst my bubble and acknowledged the possibility of turning the said friendship to something more, then we wouldn’t have been sorta coulda ambiguously MU (stands for ‘mutual understanding’, probably only used in the Philippines). Had we not been sort-of MU, then I wouldn’t have gotten hooked into this game, and started acting as if I’m in a relationship when I wasn’t really in one.
Had I not started acting relationship-y, then things probably wouldn’t have turned sour. Had things not turned sour, then I wouldn’t have realized that it wasn’t meant to be, he wasn’t into me and obviously wasn’t meant for me, and I deserve something much better. Had I not realized that, then I probably wouldn’t have opened the door for another guy to come into my life. Had I not not gotten close to that guy, then I wouldn’t have gone out on a date with him. Had I not gone out on the said date, then I wouldn’t have realized that I’ve been seeking my own selfish ways up until then, not seeking guidance from people who should know better, and ultimately realizing that I wasn’t where I want to be in (and that I need the Almighty Father’s guidance). I personally thanked guy #1 for breaking my heart after this realization, and actually thought we were OK again, that the friendship was restored.
Had I not been in Cebu when this happened, then I wouldn’t have found my way back into church and the fellowship. Had I not been part of the fellowship and met my friends in church, then I wouldn’t have joined the Christian Youth camp this year. Had I not joined the said camp, then I wouldn’t have had a Spiritual Revival and meet even more wonderful people who share my belief.
Had I not joined the Camp this year, then I would’ve been sent to Japan for Hell Work and I wouldn’t have had enough time to prepare for JLPT1. Had I been in Japan for that business trip, I wouldn’t have been transferred to another project group, from whom I learned of the Japan Bridge Engineer seminar which I’m attending now.
As for ye ol’ personal life… Had I not convinced myself that me and guy #1 are good, chums like before but without the ‘more than friendship’ feelings complicating things, then I wouldn’t have had the painful slap of reality and realize that “no, things can never be the same again, woman. it’s difficult to restore the close friendship after all that happened (especially when you’re still not on the same wavelength; balance is still disrupted and all that). and you shouldn’t continue giving him the opportunity to hurt you more, BAKA”. Had this not happened, then I wouldn’t have been completely freed from the chains around my heart. Couldn’t have felt lighter and stronger like I do now! His existence is right where it should be, back to the background of my life. “Never make somebody a priority if they only consider you an option” …and balance is restored in the universe~!
So many what ifs, the ‘little changes in a series of events that can change the entire course of our lives’, as my friend says. But I don’t want to live in What Ifs, in that Woulda Coulda Shoulda Alternate Universe. I’m right here, right now, ‘this is real, this is me, this is where I’m supposed to be’ Whatever happened in my life, both good and bad (and even the unfortunate ones turn out fortunate if you look at it from another angle) shaped me as I am now. Had all these not happened, I wouldn’t be here talking about this right now 
Life is too short to be taken for granted, look back and see the wonders of life at work! 2009 was quite a roller-coaster ride for me, Life’s Ups and Downs, boy. But thanks to that, I grew in wisdom, much more than I expected (no pain, no gain).
Thank you dear friends, readers, those who were part of the series of (un)fortunate events in my life, from the catalysts to positive changes in my life to the cause(s) of my misery. Thank you for being part of my life and allowing me to grow.
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