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Kampfer 06-07: The Return of Mikoto

November 19th, 2009

It is with great relief that we accept your return.

The glorious return of Mikoto was most welcome as not only is she genki but she also fulfills the role of osana-najimi for both Natsuru Girl-type and Akane so already she has a decided advantage when it comes to yuri bliss when compared to Sakura. The Quasi Maid Cafe was so much fun as the exploitation of Natusur Girl-type continued, oh sure there was some idiot boy (must have been Shin in disguise) who ordered a low priced coffee like some cheap bastard. Thankfully the class VP is about as underhanded as Dick Cheney (though so much HAWTER and better) and she gave him a concoction which I suspect was anti-freeze laced with turpentine. Shizuku and Sakura pool their money to get the super expensive escort service though Zeus was most furious that Sakura was trying to go on a date behind Akane’s back. I was most relieved when Mikoto decided to intervene decisively and had Natsuru Girl-type chase her around the school. The fight was fun as Mikoto showed her Yandere side, though it was wrong war, at the wrong place, at the wrong time, and with the wrong enemy. Nevertheless it was a chance for Akane to come to the rescue and she did so marvelously as she grabbed Natsuru Girl-type at the waist and dropped her once the BIG FIGHT started. Mikoto subsequent shock was understandable as Natsuru Boy-type’s meido cosplay was disturbing to say the least…

Sakura wants to have a night that goes on forever and ever but Shizuku got wind of it and brought Akane along to sabotage the whole affair. The Packy game was excellent as Shizuku took Akane’s first kissu and left Akane overawed. Zeus granted Akane an opportunity to be first to steal Natsuru Girl-type’s lips but alas it was not to be. Still unlike Zyl Almighty Zeus has not abandoned Akane and made sure that no matter what Sakura would not win even a single chance. Considering the amount of Packy Shizuku must have kissed Akane numerous times I just hope that the special edition DVD will have a close up of Akane’s first kissu. Zeus even guided Mikoto to the location of Sakura’s stuffed animal fortress to ensure that Sakura would not emerge victorious so early on. I am certain that the Lord of Awesome Type Rocket Punches is going for the anyone but Sakura pairing, so Sakura better start playing by the rules. Sadly Sakura seeks to have an unfair advantage, and in flagrant disregard for the Rules of Courtship as written by Patrick, Sakura steals into Natusru’s bed in the dead of night like some devious Jihad-kun. Thankfully Zeus’ rage was infinite and from Bardos Island reverted Natsuru back to being a Boy-type as to give Sakura a most unwelcome surprise. Akane sensed a disturbance in the Yuri and sallied forth to challenge Sakura and blew out part of ceiling to announce her anger and frustration. In a bit of dere dere Kampfer Akane tries to confess her feelings of true love for Natsuru and her willingness to tolerate the existence of the Boy-type. Instead of a full confession it seems that the last lot of recipients of Sakura’s babies were fated to form the White Team. Rika-chan is the first to attack Fortress Sakura, though she is quickly bested by Shizuku.

I have my doubts that this story is going to be complex but for the most part things do seem to follow some modicum of logical progression as four Entrails Animals were tossed out by the Slug Queen Sakura in episode 5, Rika was the pink haired loli which leaves the remaining three. Poor Akane can’t seem to get a clean hit on anyone these days though I suppose that, like me, she just needs to focus on her target instead of be consumed by frustration that Natsuru- Girl-type is SUGOI thick. Still I guess Shizuku will remain the strongest though perhaps like a fighting game Schwert beats Gewehr, Gewehr beats Zauber, and Zauber beats Schwert in a rock-paper-scissors set up. If that is the case things look bad for Akane as Schwert seems to be very popular in the metagame, in fact it is almost as bad as 40K where everyone plays Space Marines. Still I really felt bad for Akane when she mustered up all her courage to try and confess, only to be interrupted. Seven eps in and I am still having so much fun, though next week is going to be a love song to Shizuku, I expect Calawain to be left twitching on the floor when it gets subbed. Mikoto has proved to be a rather light addition as her strategy seems predicated on setting up Natsuru Boy-type for failure and then swooping in to claim her prize once the official rejection from Sakura is given. Still I guess in small doses Mikoto is fairly awesome as she too has some Yandere tendencies and if things go bad for my OTP I can ship AkanexMikoto as the osana-jimi pair. While I acknowledge Shizuku as a great kisser I do not see her as a one woman kind of gal, nothing short of being a mistress of her own yuri harem would suffice for a woman of her stature, but we shall see. With the arrival of the White Team I wonder if we are going to get more fighting or more yuri, I am hoping for both. Also I noticed how they tweaked the OP to edit out Sakura kissing wieners and put in Mikoto, Zeus be praised for this change!

Calawain’s Crossdressing Corner

Akane failed to channel her inner Matoi, she can’t run away when confronted with a rival. She must be relentless in her stalking and assertiveness. Meanwhile, at the Maid Cafe, once again Shizuku comes through with the entertaining torment of Natsuru. And if Sakura knows something about the Kampfer she’s got a great poker face. Finally, Akane has the most horrible aim with her guns, for being someone who specializes in it. Think of all the bullets she’s fired in 7 episodes and how few have hit anything of importance.

The Pocky game was interesting, if a bit eye-rolling and uncreative. There are much steamier ways to introduce that kind of material, I guess they decided on the easy route. Shizuku on the other hand, always brings the awesome with the “accidental” spilling of curry to create a stimulating bath scene. Not as stimulating as the futon spooning, though that would have been a lot more interesting had they let it run its course rather than some random idiot new Kampfer popping out of nowhere to introduce herself. Plus she interrupted Akane’s confession (somewhat forgiven by being voiced by Kana Ueda).

Yes, as Crusader has foreseen I am looking forward to next week’s dayto episode with Shizuku.

Crusader’s Chronicle of the Kampfer Conflict

Oh ho…so you two have gotten FRIENDLY in the past eh?

Technically Mikoto counts as osana-jimi for the both of you…

Sadly yes.

Patrick is most disappointed in this one, though it would be a losing battle anyway.

Indeed kick kiss her when she is down.

Is this the part where I over pay for water and soba?

To confuse and sexually frustrate Zyl and Shin.

For supply cannot possibly meet demand…

Go to Starbucks then you bastard.

VP is just as under handed as Cheny…

Tastes great doesn’t it…that mixture of Anti-Freeze and Turpentine.

To Get Rich Is Glorious.

…

Now THAT is customer service.

Is that Akane?

For once I can agree with this girl.

I suppose the accountant has a photographic memory.

…

Oddly enough I feel a sense of camaraderie with these three.

Indeed.

Looks like some one is really going to get an earful…

But Natsuru Girl-type really likes you…

Hey that looks sharp you should be careful…

Wait isn’t that you?

That is a delightfully blunt battlecry.

Only Akane is allowed to bully Natsuru Girl-type.

Still it was a magnificent rescue.

She has no time for patience you know…

I would have liked it more if she went in single handed with her arm around Natsuru Girl-type’s waist.

That’s Solidus to you?

…

Mein eyes!

That is not he boy-type she wanted to see…

He’ll push it to the limit past the point of no return…

Good Going Solid Snake…

Now these two would make for great Negotiators…though something is missing.

…

And Akane was like “what’s up bitch?”

She’s got to win at least one right?

Zeus approves…

We gotta get closer!

…

Shizuku is smooth…

YESSS!

HELL YESSS!

The Winner of ep 7.

Who says losing is bad?

Outta the way bitch Zeus has decided…

…

Patrick Approves of this Packy Strategem…

We need to create the mood…

I scoff at your narrow minded hetero thinking.

Indeed she is.

For Zeus does not approve of you or your methods…

Sakura is the Slug Queen!

It was the most fortuitous industrial accident of the century.

Zeus guided Mikoto to Natsuru Girl-type, he guided Sakura half a league away…I sense a bit favoritism.

You can’t cook can ya?

I like this better than the swim suit…

The problem is…YOU.

…

Mikoto doesn’t talk, she just does…

Mikoto is a smart one through optimal positioning she gets to sleep next to Natsuru Girl-type…sadly they put her in Sakura’s stuffed animals mausoleum.