End of the Golden Witch

Finally, after 4 months of waiting, the noble people of Witch-Hunt has delivered! Episode 5 of Umineko just 48 hours before C77 starts was kept to, amazingly!
Before reading, be warned this is a seriously long post (72 screencaps) and it has spoilers, so if you haven’t read the VN yet, be forewarned!
>>After a long wait to grab a copy of the game, finally installed and starting.
>>Begins with a very short recap on all the Beato gloating scenes…
>>I think the previous episodes have made it clear, but Strauss is a fucking idiot. Poor Natsuhi.
>>Hmm, Kinzo’s spirit says that Beatrice will help the “true head” of the Ushiromiya family, and the position is not passed through blood, but through spirit and conviction. Is this implying something about the game?
>>So… Beato vs Battler has been resolved, but Lambda and Bern are hijacking the game pretty much for their own entertainment, resulting in Beato’s catatonic state.
>>Damn, Bern is way scarier than Lambda. She can make you think she’s helping you, but she’s actually only caring about herself!
>>Just as expected from Rosa, making Maria think it’s her fault she can’t go to Disneyland when it’s actually because she wants to attend bad meeting.
>>Huh, Natsuhi has another child?
>>And he wants revenge for…. 19 years ago? Wait, isn’t that close to Battler’s age…..
>>Bern and Lambda’s banter are sickeningly sweet and gross… “Ooh, you’re gonna dip me and bean paste and bite me? But in that case I wish you would dip me in hone~y. In return I’ll cook you in sugar water” whaaaaaaat?
>>Shit, Battler’s description of Ange’s diarrhea was pretty damn gross.
>>And the first day begins in earnest. Battler has to be reminded about the epitaph again.
>>”The witches keep calling me incompetent.”… well, that’s because YOU ARE. Sometimes.
>>And Erika finally arrives! Nice BGM.
>>Interesting, Lambda and Bern brought Battler to the Sea. Or Ocean. Yes, the place where all the Fragments are.
>>Epitaph solving time! Lots of important clues are expanded upon and new ones are given.
>>LOL, Beato are you going to punish evildoers in the name of the Moon? (Hey someone do a SailorBeato spin-off)

>>“intellectual rapist”

>>She really is an unpleasant woman… with a small heart too.

>>LOL WUT? The man from 19 years ago was Lambda changing her voice to scare Natsuhi? Geez.
>>Ange….. ;A;

>>Lambda and Bern show off more of their unpleasantness….

>>Okay that’s something I didn’t know. So Umineko’s pretty much a record-setter in the mystery genre now?

>>Ahaha.wav, she sure got told by Battler here!

>>Gohda…..! You just can’t resist being a pretentious prick even at the wrong times eh? Learn to read between the damn lines! Poor Natsuhi.

>>And Dlanor finally debuts!

>>LOL, the Siesta’s are hillarious as usual. “turn caps lock off and try again!”

>>Damn, this showdown between Mystery and Fantasy is going down way more intense than I expected.
>>This part is just so hillarious no matter how many times I see it. Die the Death Sentence to Death Great Equalizer is the Death.

>>”I wouldn’t put it past Grandfather.” amirite?

>>Yeap, I sure wouldn’t put it past him!

>>Battler vs Dlanor is epic.

>>And so was this…

>>Oh god dere-dere Beato!

>>Man, Erika SURE GOT TOLD! Ahaha.wav

>>Yeap, I wouldn’t put it past Grandfather!

>>Awww… shucks, more dere-dere Beato. Do EET, Battler!

>>Fuck yeah Battler!

>>Erika SURE GOT TOLD. Again.

>>This totally made me like Dlanor.

>>”Please stand. On one leg.”

>>Whiny bitch.

>>……… what????!

>>Are you a pervert?!

>>… crazy bitches.

>>Okay, she really is a pervert.

>>Also, a bitch as well.

>>Ouch.

>>Double ouch. Critical hit to Natsuhi.

>>She has to rub it in some more too.

>>Rapeface Dlanor :3

>>Dammit! Stop defiling poor Ange any more!!!

>>More rapeface Dlanor :3

>>Too bad he can’t use the red truth yet.

>>Noooooooooo! Battler dies?!!
>>Wait… what?!

>>Shit, that is fucking low.

>>Those damned witches.

>>Lol, so the Sisters are American?

>>Nasty pair is nasty.





>>That was a rather short Tea Party. Well, on to the Ura Tea Party.
>>Beato ;_;


>>That’s true. It would be pretty weird if we just assumed there are no hidden doors, traps, poisons, etc in real life.

>>Dlanor provides help to Battler by explaining the purpose of the Decalogue. I have to admit, what they are discussing here is pretty true. The Decalogue is a useful guidepost to start thinking from. Also related: P=NP problem.

>>Haha, I agree with Lia here.

>>LOL poor Battler getting teased by Lia and Dlanor.

>>Finally realized it?

>>”Tsundora”, lol. More like “tsundere”.
>>I wonder what Battler figured out?
>>Beato! ;_;


>>And the counterattack begins!
>>Endless Sorceror time!

>>Fuck yeah, Endless Sorceror Battler!

>>Lol, getting counterattacked by the Knox rules they so arrogantly used must hurt.

>>Dreamenddischarger! FUCK YEAH RONOVE! The “Yes , your majesty!” was epic win.


>>Owned by Kinzo. Again. Suck that, bitch!

>>Even the sisters join in the fun.

>>And the Golden Truth strikes!


>>Hey, Lambda’s not that bad.

>>Lol, trying to push the blame back to Battler but failed. Didn’t Bern already proclaim she gave Erika the Detective post earlier?


>>Man, that was seriously one crazy way to argue back.
>>Oooh, Erika made Bern angry!

>>Bern… is really horrible.

>>Dlanor comes to Erika’s defense.

>>You had better keep to that, Battler!

>>So, rematch in the next game?

>>And the game ends.
Phew, that was a shorter read than I expected it to be. Episode 5 proved to be a great opening act for the Chiru arc of Umineko, although it introduced a whole number of new concepts and characters (Dlanor is more awesome than I expected), as well as drastically unveiling the true natures of some of them.
For example, while it has been shown Bernkastel is one cold bitch, she really lives to that and more in this arc of Umineko with her ruthless piece of “Erika” and how she generally treats everyone else in the game. Heck, she’s actually making Lambda look harmless in comparison. I wonder how will she top this off in Episode VI.
This Episode also is pretty crucial for explaining a lot about Natsuhi and how dedicated she is towards the Ushiromiya family, and I have to say I felt really sad for her when she was wrongfully accused of the crimes in this iteration. Even worse was when Bern and Erika implied she committed adultery with Kinzo. Man, that was a seriously low blow.
Also, Beato’s gone in the end of the Episode, and it’s now up to Battler to do battle with Erika and explain all the mysteries that have been presented so far. I’m having mixed feelings about that really, but it does make Battler’s transition in to the Endless Sorceror logical.
Well, Episode VI is due out soon. Let’s all pray Witch-Hunt can release it in 4 months again. I’m still seriously impressed they made Episode V in time for C77. Good job!
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